When I was chucked out the synagogue last year, the elders apparently discussed the possibility of me committing suicide. How heart warming eh? If you didn't feel hated beforehand, you certainly feel hated when you find that out.
But I keep remembering what happened to Joseph and how he forgave his brothers in the end.
I do understand how some fall short in their behaviour or just get in a bit of a mess and it leaves them vulnerable to a troubled conscience. This is one reason why I would encourage anyone who even slightly imagines that this is God's organisation to put that thought right out of their mind. It isn't. And they are not your judge and jury. Jesus Christ is and He loves you so much he died for you. Get out the Bible, read the things Jesus said and did, then ask yourself, what would his view be of you?
You are loved, you are cherished, you are precious, you are of immense value. Know it. And if you've mess up a bit, change your ways and move on.
Get some royal robes ready and a few fatted calves cause if the elders who were cruel to you ever come to their senses, you'll all have a nice party together one day.